The Berean

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Posts by The Berean

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  54

  Has Your Personality Changed Since Leaving The Witnesses?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have an aquaintance that likes to say, "once an a hole always an a hole".

  i guess you could reason that whatever your religious views were, your core is you are who you are.. did your personality change for better or worse when you left the organization?.

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  The Berean

  I believe that what I am is what I have always been . Perhaps that is what your aquaintance was suggesting. I have core defects that outweigh my strengths. Therefore whether I became a Witnesss, Quaker, or Catholic etc. I think it would have all ended the same.

  In my case, being a Witness exacerbated my low self-esteem ... perhaps a different choice would have been beneficial.

  Being a JW for people such as I requires living a double life. We become ashamed that we can't cut it ... yet powertless to control our unacceptable preferences ... even if the religion itself is flawed or unhealthy.

  The short of it is that NOT being a Witness now allows me to face WHAT I am and manage it. As Martha says: "that's a good thing"!
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  18

  Is the number of elders/servants increasing or decreasing?

  by Olin Moyles Ghost in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  over the last few years, i have noticed an increase in the number of pleas from the platform for brothers to "reach out" for "privileges of service.

  " it has even been said that there are not enough elders and servants in the congregations.

  this could be a local phenomenon, but i suspect it is more widespread.

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  The Berean

  From my experience the number of elders appointed depends on need rather than desire to "reach out.".

  In 1972 the congregation I belonged two initially appointed 12 elders. Today, some 27 years later ... although the faces are different, I understand that the the number is still 12.

  I believe it is a sliding scale. When men are desperately needed to run the show, their qualifications are not looked upon as critically and they get the job. Conversely, when there is a sufficient number of leaders already in place ... minor flaws are magnified and it is much tougher for "wannabes"to qualify for the appointment. I think you will find this to be common.
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  22

  New member - My story

  by allelsefails in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i've been reading for a little while, but really "studying" for a couple of years.

  figure i could share my story and listen to what you guys have to say.

  i was "born" into jws in 1976. my mother was baptized in 1975.. ouch.

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  The Berean

  Hi: This singular p oint of view is based on MY experience. It is all I know. Please take it with required salt.

  My guess is that your Mother became a Witness in an attempt to make something better of her life. The PHASE probably worked for a time. Unfortunately, children raised in such an environment can suffer a negative delayed reaction as they move on in their own lives.

  Perhaps if one would look at their past or present re lationship in the organization also as a necessary GROWTH PHASE in life rather than an issue of right and wrong it would help should we later discover that dedication to a cause can done for reasons other t han simply "pure worship."

  We are all at where we are due to events that are seldom current. What has been lost most often can not be recovered. All we have is this moment forward. Until we divorce ourselves from the past, we remain in it.

  What I had to learn was three-fold: first, what others think and say about me is not my business; secondly, that "truth" and "lies" are little more than the same color in a different light; and third, that although I may not wish to consider it, I am alone and can not count on any other human to fufill or validate my existence.

  While not without scars, t hose things that ate at me for DECADES are of little importance to me now.

  I wish you the best, in confidence that you will find your own personal route to serenity . At times it may appear that ill feelings, resentment, and anger might never end. I assure you they will ... everything does.
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  32

  Dropping the pounds....

  by AK - Jeff in

  1. social
  2. physical

  i have never been fat - exactly.

  but i have been overweight most of the past two decades.

  lately it has settled around my waistline.. so, i decided to find a way to lose it without falling back into bad eating habits - a lifestyle change.. i have taken a few steps and began earnest effort to start moving the scale southward last monday, so i am 8 days in.. here is what i am doing:.

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  The Berean

  Here's what actually worked for me:

  EQUIPMENT: Pencil, paper, and magnet

  FOOD: Anything I wanted ...

  NOT NEEDED: Scale, tape measure, membership to anything

  EXERCISE: Acurately wrote down the exact items and quantity of everything I consumed for 30 days. Put ot on the fridge door where I and everyone else could see it ... checked it daily ...

  CONCLUSION: I wasn't holding water, suffering from an underactive thyroid, experiencing low metabolism or been cursed with a genetic defect. I was simply consuming too much "stuff" and wearing it.

  After the first month, although I had not mentioned my intent, outsiders began to tell me I looked thinner. That was two years ago. have kept my weight under control since then.

  P.S. I'm still ugly! Doesn't work for that ...
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  6

  What's a "ya-but"?

  by The Berean in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a "ya-but" is a disrespectful individual who attempts to destroy self-confidence and raise doubts in the minds of others.

  a "ya-but" has no intention of accepting alternative conclusions or even assigning merit to well thought out ideas made by those to whom they are speaking.

  the "ya" part is not a recognition of alternative understanding but rather a dishonest segway for attack.

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  The Berean

  SPAZnik:

  Lot going on in there ... I'll try to keep up!

  Response was appreciated: Berean
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  6

  What's a "ya-but"?

  by The Berean in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a "ya-but" is a disrespectful individual who attempts to destroy self-confidence and raise doubts in the minds of others.

  a "ya-but" has no intention of accepting alternative conclusions or even assigning merit to well thought out ideas made by those to whom they are speaking.

  the "ya" part is not a recognition of alternative understanding but rather a dishonest segway for attack.

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  The Berean

  beks:

  you rascal !!!
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  20

  If you were offered the position to run the Watchtower....

  by BurnTheShips in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  what would you do?.

  bts.

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  The Berean

  WOW!

  empathetic comments ...
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  6

  What's a "ya-but"?

  by The Berean in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a "ya-but" is a disrespectful individual who attempts to destroy self-confidence and raise doubts in the minds of others.

  a "ya-but" has no intention of accepting alternative conclusions or even assigning merit to well thought out ideas made by those to whom they are speaking.

  the "ya" part is not a recognition of alternative understanding but rather a dishonest segway for attack.

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  The Berean

  A "ya-but" is a disrespectful individual who attempts to destroy self-confidence and raise doubts in the minds of others. A "ya-but" has no intention of accepting alternative conclusions or even assigning merit to well thought out ideas made by those to whom they are speaking. The "ya" part is not a recognition of alternative understanding but rather a dishonest segway for attack. A "yabut" can not be enlightened.

  An example of a "ya-but" is found in the Bible. Satan was a "ya-but" when he suggested to Eve: "ya-but if you eat the fruit you will be like God ... " If you can believe the account, it apparently worked!

  Jehovah's Witnesses are notoriously "ya-buts." Make a valid point during a discussion and it will be kicked in a corner by diverting the conversation. Listening to "ya-buts" over time can cause confusion and low self-esteem. How much better to communicate with an "I-see"
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  19

  Is the Kingdom Hall a good place for ugly gals to get attractive boys?

  by rebel8 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in response to this thread, i must point out that there are homely female jws aplenty who hook up with ok looking or even good looking men.. well i'm not wrong, am i?

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  The Berean

  I'll give you the punchline ... those who have heard the joke will get it:

  "all I did was step on some stupid duck"
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  10

  When would an "I'm sorry" help?

  by The Berean in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  human interaction today too often seems to feature either playing the role of "offender" or "offended.

  "most parties involved in an altercation plead "not guilty" regardless of the evidence.. but are there times when a simple unconditional "i'm sorry" might prevent a harmless spark from becoming a raging inferno?.

  i pesonally have offended people hundreds of times during my life and have been offended to the same extent.

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  The Berean

  Perry, perhaps I lacked clarity in my initial posting.

  I am sorry when pain results from interaction. But having regret does not, in my mind, assign or accept blame.

  For instance, my Mother expresses grief at my choosing to leave the organization: I am sorry about that. It doesn't mean I am wrong ... it only means that I wish there were a better way for it to "play out." I also wish that as I face the trauma of separation that others would be saddened at what I am going through, not lamenting how it makes them feel etc.

  I guess I am talking about a "no fault" exppession of empathy. It's not about pointing fingres.

  And my second posting was my attempt at humor!